Your past experiences made you who you are. Every single thing that brings you right to this moment. Do you think that you'd be exactly where you are if all those things didn’t happen to you?

Crossing the street. Shaking hands with someone. Sending a text message. If you change anything, then you could be a completely different person with completely different circumstances, a different network, and a different life. There may be things that linger with you that you wish that you did or that you wish that you did differently. That alternate reality may no longer exist or even make it to this moment.

To conduct this exercise for yourself: write down and replay and some of your favorite AND worst memories. Observe how they make you feel and consider how valuable they may or may not be for your reality. Have those experiences shape you to be exactly who you are today? Was that a valuable moment in your reality? Are all of your moments valuable to your reality? Do you consistently live your reality appreciating and recognizing how valuable it is at this moment?

In those moments separate them into different categories. Let’s pick 20 for this exercise. What are some of your most regretful moments? What are some of your most joyful moments? What are some of your most prideful moments? What are some of your most comical moments? What are some of your most terrifying moments? What are some of your most traumatic moments? What are some of your most peaceful moments? What are some of your most fortunate moments? What are some of your most embarrassed moments? What are some of your most angry moments? What are some of your luckiest moments?

As you write these down, count up the moments that have stood out to you throughout your journey. When it comes to self-forgiveness, it is the most complete journey that you will ever embark upon.

Let’s consider three different story arcs in your past.

You’re an athlete who showed tremendous dedication, passion, skill for a certain sport. This sport provided discipline, routine, health, friends that change your reality in a positive way. Let's say one of those individuals happened to encounter a tragic accident while they were in a vehicle with you. If you unwind the latest layer, then you might be punishing yourself for the actions that you took or did not take. Thoughts that could run through your head include: if I reacted more quickly, if I slowed down, if I gave a seatbelt reminder, or if I did any of these other things, then the tragic accident might not have happened. The entire sequence of events might not have happened if you didn’t have that discipline. It might not have happened if you weren't great friends with that person. It might not have happened if your team was more or less successful. It might not have happened if you did so many different things. A significant amount of those memories might have brought happiness and excitement to your reality. Are you willing to ignore and forget those for the latest moments? Or are you missing or longing for the moments that might not happen anymore? The past moments no longer exist and the future moments aren’t reality.

In another situation, a person may be in an abusive relationship where there is physical and or mental abuse. Some of these took place at a considerably younger age or later in life. Sometimes people have no idea how to deal with them, handle them, or speak up about them. Sometimes they’re conditioned not to speak up. This convinces those individuals that their voice must not be heard. As they go on their journey, they might realize that their voice is what people actually need to hear. They realize that their voice is powerful and that it makes a difference. They've endured such situations where someone who does not see their value attempts to keep them quiet. Once they start to speak, the people who are meant to hear them will process what's actually going on. This will motivate, inspire, and embolden others to speak up as well. So don't punish yourself for taking a few moments to gather the courage to use your incredible voice.

Consider a third scenario where you enjoyed a peaceful and comfortable life. Things fell into place when you wanted them to. You met the right people at the right moment. You found wonder and joy in this adventure. Then you realized that your lived version of reality has some questionable infrastructure or peculiar details. You might have believed the reality that someone else presented to you. Do you have the humility to take yourself on a beautiful unlearning journey? Are you capable of having your reality altered or shifted because of who you chose to believe? As you start to deconstruct your layers of reality, then you realize that the people who you thought were there for you were not there for altruistic reasons. The moment you started questioning then you notice a very different side of individuals. As you leave this portion of reality behind, let go of your ego. It's OK not to know everything in this reality. It’s OK to question the reality that has been presented to you. It's OK to forgive yourself.